Things I am thinking on at the start of another year, in no particular order. New Year is different when you don't urgently want something. I love NY but the past... many... have felt increasingly desperate for me; I just needed that one thing (a job that wasn't terrible) and it was very hard to… Continue reading New year, new peace

Things that I am overthinking and possibly wobbling over, in no particular order. Existential angst over work, because of course the minute I have a job, I have to reconsider the whole issue of what the hell the point of any of this is and why must it all be so much and I was… Continue reading But they don’t fall down

So here we are, the start of another school year and a big shift. Little one is in last year at little school, big one is in first year at big school, both are beyond excited. I'm in the last week of Probezeit at the job (with no problems so far) so can officially relax.… Continue reading Unstuckening, unwording

Nearly two months into new job and the main reason I still don't entirely trust it is that I feel too comfortable. I feel like myself on the job, and after nine months in a job where being me was very much not appreciated, that makes me a little nervous. But I'm leaning into it.… Continue reading Less Hausfrau, more Haus

Initially underrated advantage of our new house: it's a 2-minute walk from a little independent appliance shop. This has become extremely valuable over the past few months, as four appliances in succession have broken, not counting the time I needed to replace a shelf in the fridge. I mean yes, normally one would make phone… Continue reading 3 things in a hurry, 2.7.21

Posting on a Wednesday is weird. I think in calendar weeks and midweek is just not the right time to navel gaze. But I don't want to sit at my computer on a Sunday, and I'm working on Monday, so Wednesday it is. Unless I shifted to Friday, I guess. That feels weird too. OH… Continue reading Midweek brain does run-on sentences and randomness

Been thinking a lot about different kinds of beliefs this week. Not in a remotely religious sense, just the difference between knowing something rationally, and knowing it in your bones. And the ways in which your brain and body can trip you up by holding onto unhelpful and untrue beliefs even when you "know" better.… Continue reading You gotta have faith

Tomorrow I start my new job. I have a contract so it must be true. I am still having a little difficulty knowing how I feel about it; it's very easy to see the ways in which it could suck (start-up chaos) as well as all the things that seem perfect. My natural tendency is… Continue reading The Great Unstuckening?

I have a vaccination appointment, finally. (Well, two. Both set up together.) It's been A Challenge getting one – they all disappeared within six hours of being opened to all age groups, reportedly. I kept trying and failing (having them snatched out from under me in the few seconds it took) until finally succeeding today,… Continue reading Not everything is terrible