Ribbit, rippit, RIP

Alas, poor Vivian. I knew her briefly.

So stylish. So shapely. So desirable.

So wrong for me.

The photos (poor as they are, but let’s be frank, I wasn’t out to get the clearest possible representation of how UNflattering this is on me) don’t really capture just how bad it is.

I really had thought that gorgeous back shaping was going to miraculously counteract the en-chunkening properties of chunky yarn, at least somewhat. And maybe it did. Probably it could have been even worse. But chunky cables are still chunky cables, and chunky cables that huddle up especially close around the bust and shoulder area? Are not a great idea on someone on the top-heavy side.

And then of course there’s the sleeve issue. I actually did take steps to shorten them, since they were clearly ridiculously long as written (and plus I had row gauge issues)… but evidently, not enough.

“It’s like something Dr Seuss might have knitted,” commented my friendly household photographer.

He’s also the one who pointed out that – though lucky camera angles have spared you the sight – it made my head look theeees small and the rest of me THEEES BEEEEG.

So Vivian has gone to a better place. Rest in peace, Vivian. Or, you know, in pieces.