I have a new thing. Every time I get bummed out that I can’t do thing X, I add it to my list. It’s not exactly a bucket list; it’s not so much about the Big Exciting Mustn’t Miss things. It’s about the things I want to be in my life, that can’t be right now because parenting, but could be, some time.
Like, oh, say, seeing All the Movies. Back when I was barely a grown-up at all, I went to the cinema a lot. By myself. Seeing whatever happened to be on. A bit later, I took on film reviews for the paper I was working at. It meant going to screenings on what should have been my day off, but I loved it. But in recent years, getting out to a movie has become a Big Deal. I really, really miss movies. It’s a small thing, but a big thing to me. So what? Movies can be a regular thing again. Just not right now. So that’s on the list.
Taking long train trips is on the list too.
So’s going to knitting retreats. Getting specific about Squam, or Port Ludlow, or such would take us into Bucket List territory, and then I’d get peeved if they stopped doing those retreats. But there will always be retreats, right? Wonderful ones. So that’s on the list.
I’m finding this surprisingly helpful. I don’t dwell on what I’m missing, I look forward to making space in my life to not miss it. When the time is right. It’s a kind of visualisation, I guess. I’ve used the word “imagiplanning” in the past to describe the focused daydreaming I would do about things like starting a business, or moving to Switzerland. Which totally happened.
So it’s okay. You can tweet about Squam, or your new book release, or your sailing holiday. I won’t expire with jealousy. It’s going on my list.