I’ve started keeping a little list of the things that make me feel like me. Because after complaining at length about how motherhood makes me feel like a non-person, I figured it was worth clarifying what IS me. It’s an odd little list and sort of looks like “things I like doing”, but it’s not quite that. It’s also not in any way an attempt to Find My Career Path. For obvious reasons.
The list thus far:
1. Knitting. Obviously.
2. Taking long train rides.
3. Wearing long, full skirts.
4. Watching a lot of movies. At various points in my life I’ve had the luxury of going to the movies frequently (usually by myself) and by now, it’s not just a thing I love to do, it’s a thing that reconnects me to that younger self.
5. Listening to music. Like the movie thing, this doesn’t mean that I am in any way a music buff. I’m clueless. But it’s a thing I used to do a lot and I miss it and it makes me feel right.
6. Hanging out with geeks and weirdos. I don’t know how they feel about hanging out with me, I’m at best geek-adjacent and far less interesting, but still: my people.
7. Lipstick.
8. Blogging. Writing overly long, personal and pointless posts on random or highly narcissistic topics. What can I say.
9. Being alone in a city. Noticing things. Not noticing things. Just being alone in a crowd and moving around the city, whether my own or new to me.
10. Running in the forest. (This is sort of the opposite of #4, in that my younger self would have NEVER expected it.)
What’s on your list?
Woolly thoughts (and fuzzy logic) 