- Since before Christmas the forecast has been promising me snow the week after next. Always the week after next. Strangely never coming any nearer. And I can only remember actual snow ONCE in all that time… it came out of nowhere, blew down rather intensely for a couple of hours during which I had zero chance of going out in it (yes, I did want to), and then the inch or so that had settled disappeared almost immediately, it being rather above freezing at the time. So odd. And so annoying. Nothing but grey skies gets a little wearing. I am officially reaching that point of winter when I think longingly of going outside without a coat. But spring does always come eventually. There are tiny buds everywhere. They’ll stay in tiny bud form for quite some time, of course, but still: there are Signs.
- Huz back from Davos, hurrah! But you know: in practical terms, we barely missed him. In emotional terms, very much. He got a hero’s welcome, as is only right and proper. But it’s striking how very much easier solo parenting is these days. How much easier all parenting is these days.
- Related: I did not have a great week. Not terrible, but not at all productive or disciplined. Friday in particular was a bust – I found it so hard to settle down to anything. This is, of course, a normal human situation. It happens. And I was aware of more or less keeping the promises I’ve made to not beat myself up over this shit. Take it as it comes. Accept the bad days in the knowledge that I’ll catch up on the good days. This is also, very clearly, a direct reflection of this blessed new phase I’m in, with two kids in school. It’s just so very much easier to roll with it when my life has that extra bit of slack built in. Losing two hours of work to exhaustion or a bad mood isn’t such a crisis when I have 24 child-free hours in a week, rather than 8. Oh man what a difference.
- Things that were good this week, and in other recent times: being asked to provide more of various services that I’ve never advertised, but can in fact do. This is wonderful, as building these services up is definitely part of my long-term plan – but I am so scared of letting people down. I don’t know what it will take for me to have confidence in my skills. I just keep saying yes and doing the thing, trying to ignore the buzzing anxiety.
- Designing sometimes means a lot of ripping out, which I don’t mind, but there is a certain consciousness of impending <del>doom</del> deadline. I have a week or so to get this current project together – if it’s late, well, nobody dies, that just means it won’t be released at Edinburgh Yarn Festival. It’s just so tantalisingly possible and yet I’m still not sure if it’ll even work at all. More anxiety! But nobody dies. Gotta remember that part. It’s only knitting.
5 of #52recipes: soda bread from my Home Baking Cookbook. (Picked it up in a secondhand store ages ago, can’t find on Amazon, which is a shame because it’s pretty good.) I’ve made soda bread before using a Sophie Michell recipe, but tried this as being easier to scale down for the amount of buttermilk I had. Simpler recipe and I like the taste better too, so my default soda bread recipe has been officially replaced.
Also hazelnut flour (gluten-free) brownies, not from a book so not counted to my quota. Very tasty but very not portable.