Unsettled: 5 things 15.10.18

  • C is back from Pfadilager,* hurrah hurrah! Of course we all missed her far more than she missed us. She had a brilliant time and can’t wait for the next one. And she made a point of thanking me today for basically forcing her to go to scouts for all the years she was only half enthused. (Oh yeah, I was the whip-cracker. I told her she could quit any time, but only if she told me three times after going to scouts that she wanted to quit. She never did. Always had a good time once she was pushed out the door.)
  • I’m still feeling a bit tired and crap, after a whole two weeks of working only one job. Not really surprising (I have not been looking after myself, like, at all), but still tiresome.
  • Also feeling uncomfortable and insecure in the job, and so, in life in general. Hard to tell to what extent dodgy state of mind is related to dodgy state of body, and in what direction, but safe to assume neither is helping the other. And it’s not much fun. I feel like I should be having fun, finally, what with three lovely days a week to do my own stuff,** and the excitement and validation of a grown-up job. But right now, no. I haven’t found my groove yet.
  • Had a frustrating project last week: frustrating on various fronts but one was that the thing I wrote was ripped to shreds in revision, and then dropped entirely. I don’t feel too bad about that because it had already gotten thumbs ups from three other people – but it’s a foretaste of what I imagine will be many, many frustrating projects with too many people having opinions and not much getting actually done.
  • But! I published my pattern (finally), I got the next two patterns off to testers, I’m close to having one more pattern ready for tech editing… so I’m very comfortably positioned design-wise. Things are moving but there’s absolutely no pressure. It’s a very enjoyable situation. And I’m looking forward to taking things easy for a good  long while.
  • Scout camp – her first time away from home (not counting occasional sleepovers). One interesting point about Swiss/German scouts though, that’s quite different to others I know of, is that it’s entirely youth-led. Not mostly youth-led with a responsible adult around just in case – it’s all run by the actual scouts. Teenagers graduating from regular scouts take on the leadership roles, but they’re still really young.
    ** Well. Three lovely half-days. That’s still awesome, right? Should be awesome.

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