Up, down, up, down:* 5 things 16.11.18

• Well THAT was a week. That was… a LOT. Started with being completely unable to work on my first working Monday, because of tech issues. Continued with increasing pressure from boss to resolve other, longstanding tech issues ahead of the Big Project – bringing me close to tears more than once, because I’d been banging my head against a wall for 7 weeks already with this problem. All came to a head on Thursday (also a big day for other work reasons) with an actual diagnosis and fix, and I won’t bore you with the details, but OMFG IT WAS RIDICULOUS. It left me with a Lot of Feelings. Relief, frustration, anger, joy… yeah, it sounds like way too much for a tech problem, I know, a bit übertrieben, but dude. Seven sodding weeks, and the root cause was ridiculous.
• Meanwhile C slipped and hurt her hand, so after a couple of days when it wasn’t really feeling better I took her to A&E. Doc thought it didn’t seem broken but may as well X-ray, and then did in fact find a tiny fracture. So she now has a cast for 3-4 weeks and is DELIRIOUSLY HAPPY. Getting a cast is so very exciting when you’re a kid! And what an ideal way to do it – left hand, not very sore, doesn’t interfere with her life too much… No riding for a few weeks, which is a shame, but the horses will wait.
• And the start of Big Project came as quite an event too. In the form of Unexpected Conflict and Drama and me worrying that I’d totally mishandled things and boss was going to be mad, until boss congratulated me on “landing that plane, it was a really big plane and a really messy flight and you landed it really smoothly!” Which made me giggle a lot, later. Big Project also turns out to be significantly different to what we thought it was going to be. More interesting! More challenging, but in an interesting way. So that’s good.
• So in the midst of all this I was reflecting on my very specific stress triggers. Dealing with a really angry person who is freaking out about work? Not scary. I know I can deliver and it will all be fine, so I just focus on moving us all forward. Having to make phone calls to solve a tech problem? PANIC. Taking my daughter to hospital? No problem. I know she’s okay, or going to be.** Driving to hospital on unfamiliar, busy town-centre roads with roadworks? VERY SCARY. (Except now I know the route and it’s actually really easy, so next time will be fine.)
• In light of this very learned essay about how fashion can make you feel awesome, I’m not going to feel bad about my new winter coat (even though, yeah, I did just complain about all the shopping I’ve done this year) because (a) a person must be warm! and (b) feeling awesome is awesome. Instead I shall congratulate myself on not also falling for the crushed velvet jacket. Dammit.

* My mom had a Jane Fonda workout tape and the rhythms are etched into my brain. After “double time” (see last week) must come “up down, up down”. And so it in fact came to pass. Except unlike the donkey kicks, I’m ending with up.
** Obviously on this occasion there was no reason for stress anyway. But other times I’ve had to take her in and been less sure of the outlook, still hasn’t been stressful. I can take things one step at a time and not worry.