- I’ve been feeling stressed lately (in case you hadn’t noticed), but the thing is, it’s pretty much all self-inflicted. So there’s been a tough project at work, with a few late nights and a lot of compromises. So what. I can do the late nights from the comfort of my own home, and nobody but me is unhappy with the quality of my work. And even I don’t think my actual output has been bad, I’m more upset that I haven’t been doing better at coordinating. Which… nobody but me seems to think is my job or my problem. So: time to let go, Robynn. Just do what you can and move on.
- Similarly, I had all kinds of anxiety about releasing this year’s newsletter freebie – it wasn’t original content, just a collection of existing tutorials reformatted, so that felt like cheating; and I was never happy with the photo quality of most of that content, and so on. But people love it. I’m getting such great feedback that my tutorials really are helpful. Which makes me so unbelievably happy. So, lesson #2: my work is actually okay.
- And I think I’ve finally figured out my angle as a designer. Only took me five years. I’ve been trying to nail it down in terms of aesthetic* but actually it’s much simpler than that: I’m all about adventurous knitting. That really is it. Some of my designs are simpler, most are a bit complex, but they’re almost all about trying to do something a little bit differently. That’s where the fun lies.
- Separately, I’ve been thinking I’m not going to do a roast this Christmas. I’m the only one who cares about a “traditional Christmas dinner”,** I’m never really happy with my own cooking, somehow nothing about it feels festive and Armin would be so much happier with a vegetarian meal. I think we’re having pasta this year. And I’m actually fine with that. (We do have a Christmas pudding, though. From the bookshop, because obviously.)*** So you see: I’m learning. I really don’t need to stress myself out. It’s all good.
- Meanwhile, we had an actual WEEKEND for the first time in bloody ages. Meaning: Armin wasn’t working, we got to do fun stuff and also do a day of nothing. Very rare. Very wonderful. But I ended Sunday feeling really quite stressed about heading back to work already and how little I’d managed to prepare for the week ahead. I’m not good at this working mom thing, I’m really not. Wimp. Illuminarium was great though…
* Which reminds me, if anyone can tell me where to find a long tweed skirt this winter, I’d be so grateful. Nothing like having a very specific wardrobe hankering and no sewing skills. Also, I have a very much loved long tweed skirt and it’s just too damn small, which is depressing on every possible level.
** There’s no such thing in Switzerland. You just have a nice meal. Chinese fondue (ie meat in broth) is popular, so is a ham in pastry thing (what do you call that again?), but it could be anything. This freaked me out for a while but I guess I’m going native.
** Not at all obvious, no. But Orell Füssli’s English section being an expat magnet, they very sensibly stock up on all kinds of British and American treats.