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But the sun came out at least: 5 things 18.3.19

  • Project from hell has finally finished, serving up lavish quantities of wtf right to the very end, and I can tell you that I am way beyond gatvol. My gat runneth over. (Which is a bit graphic if you understand Afrikaans and a bit opaque if you don’t but fuckit, you get the idea.) The last drop of wtaf was my poor boss giving me the sweetest and gentlest of bollockings for having… asked a question of the wrong person at the wrong time. It was not a sensitive question. It could be answered in literally one word, one second. It was asked along with something else, so it didn’t interrupt this person’s very stressy work. And yet, emails were sent. Boss’s boss called a meeting with my boss to basically ask what is wrong with me. And poor boss is all, “Don’t change… we need more of what you do… but… it doesn’t work here. But don’t change. But please don’t do that again.”
    I. Can. Not.
    (Bear in mind this follows repeated comments that “it never hurts to ask”, i.e. if you don’t know something it’s your own fault, and yet… apparently it does sometimes hurt to ask? Ooookay. Also, of the two questions asked together, I would have thought the other one had the bigger chance of causing upset, and yet. Basically, I do not exist in the same reality as these people and have no hope of ever actually understanding their sensitivities. I will just keep on accidentally steamrollering all over them, as much as I try not to. Really, I should be fired as a matter of public safety.)
  • Oh well. It’s done (though there will another, smaller version of the same project next month). I’m going to rage knit my way through my feelings and just trust that I’ll have another, saner job soon.
  • Got a rejection on one job application this week – a job I didn’t particularly want but thought I was well qualified for, and I didn’t even make it to interview. That leaves me with just one application still outstanding. For a job I really do want, but if I wasn’t right for the other one, I’m probably not right for this either. Booooo.
  • MEANWHILE I went straight from THAT bullshit to C’s birthday sleepover – just two best friends, but oy, three overexcited 10yos can make a lot of noise – so I’m that much closer to being done with birthday season. (Still the family party coming this weekend, and tomorrow’s the actual day.) I’ve been a mom for TEN YEARS. Where’s my medal?
  • And then the sun came out and I actually smelled spring. Back in Cape Town, every year there was a very specific day when spring started for me. Some unidentifiable but highly specific smell. I hadn’t noticed that smell again until Saturday. BYE WINTER.

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