Don’t wanna: 5 things 2.7.19

  • Lack of motivation is a whole THING, huh? Over the past month I’ve been struggling to get my freelance work in on time, the knitting pattern that was due on the 30th only went in yesterday (samples only going in the post today), I’ve yet to start with a smallish translation job I originally said would be done last week, personal emails are waiting for answers… etc. I hate letting people down and I really don’t have any excuse for all this (except maybe the heat). But I’m just finding it super hard to care.
  • RAV adviser (unemployment office) is v disappointed with me. Their guidelines are 10-12 job applications a month; she had said five would be about right for my circumstances; I managed four. Not a single one of which was remotely appropriate. But that’s really not enough, evidently. I need to “work my contacts” and LinkedIn and do everything I can to find one of these jobs that don’t exist. So yeah… that’s not really helping my mood either.
  • At least the heat has broken (for now). We were promised a thunderstorm yesterday and waited, panting and disappointed, until finally being woken up at 1.30am. Not by a crash of thunder (though there was that too) but just crashing RAIN. And hail. Unbelievable stuff. So LOUD. Very exciting. Not so exciting for our poor petunias, but they’ll recover.
  • Summer holidays are rapidly approaching and I have that feeling that the year’s almost over. Yes, I realise that it’s actually only halfway through. But somehow from the start of the autumn term, everything seems to go so fast. I am totally behind on all the design projects I thought I’d have lined up for autumn release – actually I haven’t even started them. Other stuff took over. Theoretically I could still make it all happen, but see above: motivation is… not.
  • Probably everything would be better if I would just go to bed earlier and eat healthier and go running and stuff. You know. The boring kind of self-care. But I’m not motivated. It’s almost like there’s some kind of a cycle effect, you know, a circle, a mean one, there must be a word for that…

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