Looking forward to the second week of school, aka the week in which we hope to actually have a firm grip on the new routine. My life seems so empty and unchallenging except when I’m getting my head around all the little moving parts and how they all need to slot together. Which I quite enjoy, actually. Anyway here’s to a week that doesn’t include one kid racing home for the guitar (forgot music lesson), and another waiting 15 minutes for me because I couldn’t leave before the other kid came home (forgot key). Minor oopsies really, but unnecessary.
C has developed a keen interest in talking about how she’s going to move to South Africa one day and M is FREAKING OUT. He says he has to go with her, she isn’t allowed to go off to university or anything without him, even if this means leaving mommy behind. Big sister is more important. But it’s enormously stressful for him, just having the possibility raised. Much tears. Poor little muffin.
It has occurred to me again how very much of my general life stress is based on language issues. Subpar Deutsch makes every interaction more exhausting. It makes me feel I don’t have authority with kids. It makes jobs seem extra daunting. Would I struggle so much with the idea of taking some random, unfulfilling job if it were in English? I don’t think so, but would I just find other excuses?
I spent much of the weekend bludgeoning a Rubik’s cube solution into my brain, because (a) the kids are suddenly very into cubes and I would like to be able to restore it without resorting to an app, but more importantly (b) I could do this 34 years ago, dammit, so I have to prove I’m not senile yet. I feel incredibly old and slow. I remember a few years ago I was still able to solve the first two layers – that second layer was a bit shaky but I managed to brain it out. Now, I just don’t have the patience, or focus, or something. Memorising by brute force, though, that I can still do. More or less.
We have not yet found someone to take over our lease, which is problematic on a practical level (we are liable for rent until end of MARCH), but also frankly just hurtful. Why are they not falling over themselves to move into our gorgeous little flat? It’s awesome! Can’t they see how awesome it is? Under all the piles of our crap? Um.