Having a “wait, where did all those weeks go?” moment as I discover various (not important) things I have quietly just not been doing in a while. Including blogging, obviously, but that can be explained as basically me getting sick of my own cyber-voice. And not having anything to report, which is standard, but still. One gets sick of sitting down and typing “Still no job. Not dead yet. Made a nice banana bread.” Just take it as read that all is fine, house is cozy, life is good, other than the whole job thing. But basically good.
I mean there are CATS. There was a bit of drama on that front, as one of them went missing for a few days, but she came back and I no longer hate myself for negligent felicide. They are obviously very cute, and while we haven’t yet got quite as many cuddles as we greedily want, I am confident they will turn out to be very cuddly indeed. M is having to learn about waiting for cats to come to you, which is HARD for a not quite 7yo, but he’s getting there. C has been blessed with kitten on her bed more often than any of the rest of us. I’m totally jealous but very happy also, because mothers are just selfless like that, right?
I have started knitting again, after a long spell of basically not doing anything ever, which is obviously good. I am struggling to prioritise the manymany things I want to knit, or at least to have knitted, for the kids etc as well as for myself, and also new design ideas. It’s weird getting to knitting season without a bunch of designs lined up. Especially since at the start of the year I had some very sensible and manageable plans – updated versions of old patterns, etc, that should have given me a modest pipeline without much effort. But I just lost all interest for a bit. And I’m still kinda undecided about how much I want to pursue those things. Might just save my energy for purely fun knitting, and occasional pattern releases as the spirit moves me, without any attempt at marketing strategy whatsoever.
This time of year, honestly. It’s so dark and Armin is working all the time and there’s always this sense that I am just struggling to get through until Christmas, for the break, and January, for the fresh start, and really it’s not possible for anything to get done now anyway. But then again I haven’t gotten anything done all year. All. Fucking. Year. 2019, you utter bastard. To hell with you.
C has discovered bullet journalling and is OBSESSED. She’s set up an elaborate 2020 planner – in vain did I try to convince her that she could just as well start it in November, that flexibility being the entire point of bullet journalling – with really beautiful lettering and decorative bits, and complicated page layouts to organise… what? She’s 10. Her life is not that complicated. I am so curious to see how she winds up actually using this journal. But she’s had a huge amount of fun and developed beautiful lettering skills, anyway. So now we’re both really looking forward to 2020.