We’re officially in The New Year (and I totally mistyped the date in the title line) and yeah, ok, I only have two “resolutions”, but do I have a whole bunch of things I’m “going to try” as I wrestle with the shape of my days and weeks and my vague desire to Do Better? Yes, yes of course I do. As much as I want to focus on self-acceptance rather than self-improvement, there’s still always stuff I could Do Better, and it would be nice to form those good habits, wouldn’t it. It’s basically impossible to resist the Januaries. At least, I can’t. Anyway, I did 10 minutes of yoga this morning, go me, 10 minutes might actually be a habit I can maintain. Or not. Whatever. (Oh, btw, I’m back on #52recipes this year. It’s time.)
I have also formed a vague but determined overall intention for the year: Show up and finish stuff. I spent waaaaay too much of the past year just hiding, first because of too much work/too much work-related stress, then because of unemployment stress, and really it’s time I came out of my hole. Also, finish stuff. Srsly. I have a LOT of unfinished stuff, mostly in the form of obligations, and it may not be fun any more but I do want to clear the decks. It’s past time.
Very happy to have kids back to school at last. They were actually great for most of the holiday – not too much fratricide or moaning – and I really enjoyed just hanging out with them. But yesterday the whining suddenly started, and anyway I am pretty excited to get to spend time ALONE again. Really rather nice.
Yesterday was weird all round. I was suddenly exhausted again for no apparent reason (except of course the whining). I half suspect it was a result of having a drink with friends on Saturday night. Literally one drink, one hour, just fetching my kid and catching up, but there’s always this tiny underlying stress in social things that I can’t quite justify. Something to do with wanting to have good news to share (like getting a job, say), something to do with Deutsch… Idk, I shouldn’t feel stress with these lovely people, and yet. Maybe just a passing mood.
Cat update: Jojo seems to have decided she’s officially Armin’s cat. With Claudia second best. Venus is just her own delightfully jumpy kitten. Maybe I’ll get more attention when I’m the only one at home again, maybe not. We’ll see. It’s all good though – I’m very happy that the cats are enjoying being here, that they are seeking out cuddles (and happy to be snuggled when we seek them out) and are so content. It would just be nice if they’d occasionally seek out MY cuddles, though, I’m just saying.