Mood swings, mood roundabouts: 5 things 14.4.20

  • Stage of cabin fever: alternating between smug satisfaction at cooking/baking efforts and extreme grump at having to cook ALL THE DAMN TIME. Similarly, C alternates between randomly declaring “I’M BORED” and “I LOVE MY FAMILY” (and has rearranged her room twice more, with at least one more effort planned). She has also opened a “restaurant” in which she tries to charge me for helping her to cook basic meals that take her over an hour to serve. M has started drawing & writing yet another comic (obviously very educational), and is trouncing me at Pokemon (higher maths skills), so we have been quietly ignoring his actual schoolwork.
  • M developed a cough and an extremely mild temperature, I felt a tiny bit under the weather, and felt compelled to cancel errands (shopping for a woman with lung disease, i.e. high risk) and act as if highly infectious plague victims. The most annoying part of this being the cognitive dissonance as normal ideas of reasonable/paranoid clash with current ideas of necessary and responsible. Am I napping all afternoon because I’m sleep deprived, stressed, hypochondriac or actually ill? WHO CAN SAY. Do not trust my own feelings. Am gaslit by pandemic.
  • Staff changes at my favourite client, my brilliant contact is leaving and I fear the worst. Favourite client may no longer be quite so awesome! Despair! Then again who cares, whatever, is actual plague times.
  • I’m getting incredibly fed up with literally everything I’m supposed to be doing. Everything. There’s this odd sense that we should be on “holiday” (especially now it’s officially school break) and it’s sunny and lovely and we should all just be chilling. But nooooo, I still have this job and that job and… well, fuck all of that, aren’t I supposed to be doing fun art projects with my kids? Or, well, doing nothing? Nothing sounds pretty good.
  • I did however manage this week to write up one article (only two weeks late) and do some basic gardening and make some progress on my knitting thing and these tiny achievements made me feel positively heroic. Who knows what I’ll do next! I might even file my disgusting fucking nails!

Nos 22–24 of #52recipes: gnocchi from Veg Every Day, with bärlauch, because unlike last week I did manage to find it on my run! You know it’s spring when I come home stinking of sweat AND garlic. Good times. And then hot cross buns, and Zopfhasen, because clearly.  

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