Things are just a bit hard sometimes. Last week was fine all in all, stuff got done, life got lived in that everyday kind of way, but the weekend was a bit hard. First there was the emotional hangover from a job interview on Friday: the kind where I feel great at the time, it all went so well, love these people, great chat… and by the next day I’m thinking, oh shit, why did I have to go and say that… pretty sure I squashed my chances there. I really need a filter. Why wasn’t I fitted with one of those? So. Ugh.
I also heard that an online knitting friend had died, very suddenly (cause unknown), and while we weren’t close, she was very much part of my knitternet experience. We’re all shocked. I’m less hurt than many; I really didn’t know her that well. But it’s a shock.
And then… the fire at UCT, my alma mater. I spent far too much time watching Twitter for updates, which is seriously inadvisable, Twitter is garbage. I don’t usually follow hashtags so I wasn’t really prepared, but yeesh. Anyway. Heartbreaking stuff, and extremely jarring to see footage of flames literally metres from my beloved old flatshare (fortunately followed by photos of the flames extinguished, there at least). But the library. So much lost. And it’s so emotional, that space was such a part of my life at such a particular time in my life. I felt I was becoming myself there, as students commonly do. Rhodes Mem (above the university; the fire hit there first) was a big part of my memories from early childhood, and then the university and surrounds became the part of Cape Town (and so, the world) that feels most like home to me… it hits hard.
I distinctly remember you once writing about sitting in the stacks in the bowels of Jagger library, reading some hieroglyphics for a classic course – and how it left you feeling a genuine “academic” (or some such). So I understand.
I didnt spend too much time in there for my one year (engineering, so less relevant), but I did enjoy mooching about there, anyway, and read CP Snow on “the two cultures”.