Midweek brain does run-on sentences and randomness

Posting on a Wednesday is weird. I think in calendar weeks and midweek is just not the right time to navel gaze. But I don’t want to sit at my computer on a Sunday, and I’m working on Monday, so Wednesday it is. Unless I shifted to Friday, I guess. That feels weird too. OH WELL apparently I am too hung up on my routines. Loosen up, me.

  • Got JABBED on Monday, which is obvs very exciting, but not sure when I’m going into the actual office, for Reasons. Suspect I’ve convinced boss I am paranoid, which I’m not, but I’m not sure if I should be, and it’s all just really confusing. Welcome to covanxiety. Anyway, not super keen on working in a small meeting room on a laptop (which is all they have right now) so I’ll take the chance to stay home a bit longer and do my lunchtime yoga, thankew v much.
  • The stars aligned yesterday to give me an unexpected kid-free lunchtime – C at sports day and M on school outing to the zoo. That never happens. Used it to work my butt off making up for time lost to jab, and finish something for work. Apparently they really do expect me to deliver things at a pretty fast pace? Which is actually welcome but quite the adjustment. I feel I’m finding my groove though – I haven’t had much real feedback yet but I think I get the way they work, and what they expect and need. And I have done at least one Good Thing (in my eyes and that of my writer colleague) and am satisfied.
  • Much non-work action this week. Last weekend saw Armin and his brother tearing down some garden walls (v hard work, v manly and impressive) while I semi-watched brother’s 4yo (v self-possessed and not needy kid, and M was playing with him a lot, but y’know, is four) and cooked an enormous meal for us and brother’s family, doing cleaning and laundry in between, so I think that full afternoon on my feet was nearly as impressive as their few hours of hard labour followed by at least an hour of sitting down with cold beers admiring their handiwork. Housewifing is hard. ANYWAY. Sunday was also pretty intense, since we were invited to a party (more covanxiety I guess, more cognitive dissonance) and I’d promised to bring eight baguettes, since I was planning on being in town for knitting and I figured clearly there would be plenty of baguettes to be found somewhere at the train station.* BUT then I flaked out of knitting** and the local bakery and petrol stations obviously couldn’t supply my needs and I realised that probably I was supposed to ORDER baguettes? Clearly? Would never in my life occur to me to order bread for a party, but you don’t find eight baguettes just sitting around… Anyway we found something suitable (not actually baguettes) at a Portuguese bakery, so now I know where the Porto bakery is, which is also good, because childhood bestie associations. But that was a fair bit of stress. And then there was the actual party, which was hard work in its own way. And then on Monday I got jabbed, and on Tuesday the gardener started ripping shit up (very exciting, very noisy), and the week has been full of heat and noise and distractions and sundry errands. And I’m meeting a friend for coffee on Friday morning, and going down to Basel on Saturday to see Art with friends and introduce some friends to other friend who needs to know more local to her knitters, and all of this is obvs great but also I kinda really wish it weren’t happening, because TOO MUCH. I have a very low threshold for social shit and it’s been well and truly overstepped. And next Sunday I face the knitting conundrum again. I feel I should go… but I really think quiet time may be needed.

* Switzerland is strict about Sunday not being a shopping day. Only exceptions allowed are bakeries, emergency pharmacies, petrol stations, airports, and main train stations. Which is why there’s a decent-sized supermarket at the airport.
** Sunday morning knitting is something that was a core part of my social life at one point – a lifeline to English speakers and chat that didn’t revolve around kids – but most of my favourite people have left Zurich, or just don’t come any more. And there have been venue hassles and plague and everything. So right now it feels like obligation more than joy. But I feel it’s important to go, and to try to revive the group a bit, because of how it was such a crucial thing and I think is, or can be, for many people. And I volunteered to take over the official organizer role when someone else bowed out, but now I’m wondering whether it makes any sense at all to keep on… idk idk. I have enrolled someone else as the official host of Sundays because she’s pretty much always there anyway, but if I am to be organizer I should be involved, but do I need to do any of this, but but but. Arg. Sometimes I meet lovely people there but most of them don’t come often, and some of the regulars put my back up. I guess it’s worth it for the occasional lovely ones, right? Probably.

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